Life Happens

I drove by a church sign this week that read, “Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.”  “Wow, that is so true” I thought.  I know that my life hasn’t turned out the way I had planned. 

I never planned to be a pastor’s wife – my husband was not a pastor or even a youth pastor when we got married.  I never planned to have a child with Autism – in fact, after my first pregnancy ended in miscarriage, I said that probably there was something wrong with the baby and God knew I couldn’t handle raising a child with special needs.  I never planned on having twins – After having Drew and Caleb we said we would only have one more baby, but God had a different plan in mind for our family.

I have always been a well-organized person who loves to plan and make lists. I love to have things go according to those plans and I love to accomplish tasks and cross them off my list. I also find myself getting stressed when I things DON’T go according to plan.

  After Drew was born I was exhausted but still managed to keep my house tidy and accomplish a few things on my ever-growing “To do” list.   Although there were times when I felt very overwhelmed by this new addition to the family, I had no idea that this was just the beginning. 

When Caleb came along I started to struggle a little more.  The house wasn’t quite as clean. I started to care less about whether or not I had make up on or what my hair looked like if I was just running to Walmart or the post office. I also started to notice how forgetful I had become and I was even having trouble in my cluttered office finding a pen and paper to write down things I could no longer remember.

Shortly after the twins came along things started to go downhill at an alarming rate.  The house was in total disarray … toys all over the floor, dishes piled in the sink, and juice stains on the couch and carpet.  Not only did I not care about my hair and make up, but I even ventured out in my pajamas once or twice when we overslept and I had to rush off to get Drew to school on time. Granted, my pajamas were sweatpants and a t-shirt, but I would have NEVER gone out looking that way back when Drew was little.  

One of the hardest lessons I have had to learn is to ask for help. Realizing that I can’t do it on m y own and that I am not in control has been hard for me to accept.  I have had to learn to ask my husband, mom, mother-in-law, friends and kids to help me get things done and not try to be super-mom and do it all alone.  I have also had to learn that God has things in control and I don’t need to worry about every little detail of life, but rather turn these worries over to him. 

There were two times in my life that I must not have been doing a very good job of learning these lessons because they were times I was forced to ask for help due to circumstances beyond my control. One was when I was put on bed rest when I was 7 months pregnant with the twins. The other was when I broke my ankle and was put in one of those very lovely and oh-so- stylish boot casts.  In both these instances I was forced to ask for help because there was no way for me to do things on my own.  In both these instances it was the month of December which is already a stressful and busy month with all the Christmas preparations and things going on at church. 

I was really overwhelmed wondering how in the world things would get done but it amazed me how many people were there to help. I had my mom and mother-in-law that helped with the kids, did laundry and cleaned my house. My husband did all the grocery shopping and chauffeured the kids and I around.  There were people in the church that brought meals and checked on us to see if there was anything they could do to help. I even had my friend (and roommate from college), Becky, who came over and wrapped all my Christmas presents for me!  I knew that there were lots of people around me that cared for me and wanted to help and all I had to do was pick up the phone and ask.  It was hard at first, but it got easier as I started learning the lesson that everyone has to ask for help and there are certain times in our life that we need help more than others.

 Last night as I was upstairs getting the kids in bed I noticed Emma was missing. I started looking around the house and found her down stairs in the kitchen with all the lunch boxes lined up. “It’s time for bed Emma, what are you doing down here?” I asked.  “I just wanted to help and pack the lunches for you and surprise you” she sweetly replied.  It warmed my heart to have Emma help me, especially since I hadn’t even asked for help.