Momma’s Boys

May 7, 2011

“Why do boys have to be so annoying?” Emma asked Ethan.  “I don’t know. Why do girls have to be so dramatic?” he replied.  I heard this conversation the other day when the twins had been playing together all afternoon and apparently were starting to get on each other’s nerves.  Ethan had been annoying Emma and she of course had been reacting in typical girl fashion by being overly dramatic about the annoying things he was doing.  She still doesn’t seem to realize that the dramatic reaction is what makes annoying her so much fun and just encourages Ethan.

It has been interesting for me to watch the relationships that have developed between my children and how different they are.  Emma and Drew have a much different relationship than the relationship between Ethan and Drew. The same goes for the relationship between Emma and Caleb and Ethan and Caleb … the brother / brother relationship is not the same as the brother / sister relationship.  I grew up with only one brother and one sister so I didn’t notice this difference until I had kids of my own.

This video clip shows that special bond of “brotherly love” and I can see Drew and Ethan doing something like this about 10 years from now.  (Ethan would definitely be the uncooperative one in the t-shirt!)

Happy Mother’s Day!

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2 Responses to “Momma’s Boys”

  1. Chris R Says:

    Brother-Brother childhood relationships are always different to Sister-Sister reationships. Girls tend to confide more in eachother, particularly the loser in age they are.

    Brothers confide but in a different context, they rarely share emotional issues, apart from playground arguements and how to fight back; either orally or physically.

    Sister- Brother relationships are vastly different, and also depend to a certain degree on peer pressure in the family and the parental relationships. A much older sister, tend to be more maternal in her relationship with little brother: until she hits puberty.

    At that stage due in part to the effects of puberty paticularly enetering menstrual cycles and dealing with hormonal infuences turning in to female adulthood, a girl is much more defensive.

    In older brother/younger sister relationships the similar is true but whining sister about when you are trying to fit in to a peer group, can be a pain if you want to be senior in that peer group.

    The friction element also cuts in when there is a large age difference, so older sibling is allowed out either on their own or for longer; or allowed different bed-times.

    Also childrens’ interaction with eachother is very different to adults. Children wear their emotions on their sleeve, and if they’re angry with eachother, they will shout to see who can shout the loudest and therefore deemed dominant of the two. This is particularly true with the pre-pubecent and child already in puberty.

    Five years age difference, as my sister and I found out a 9 & 14 years respectively is a huge social leap, particularly when the elder is allowed to do more and at a later hour than the younger; going to parties etc. I had an additional issue due to my epilepsy and having to go to bed immediately after a bath or being washded down at the basin, so that my body temperature remained stable.

    With my type of epilepsy at the time sudden changes in temperature could trigger a siesure, for me to to have a cold, was a night-mare for my mother, as I would have to stay in bed all day. In my day children didn’t have TVs in their room, and Portables were something VERY new.

    So I felt hard done by this (to me) favouritism.

    I know that at those ages my sister and I had to effectively be escorted around the house by our mother when we were in “disagreement” (i.e. angry with eachother).

    However when we were threatend (my father had a very nasty temper, together with a loud voice) when we children and his sheer size to us (6′ 2″); 18 stone against our 4’10 and 5’3″ ; 6&8 Stone accordingly was collossal. That was when we could be close and comfort eachother; even at 10 & 15 years.

    Indeed when my father was having a shouting match at my mother about my sister and I’s “short commings” which he always blamed on mother because she looked after us 8 months out 12 (He was in the Merchant Navy, and was used to dealing with adults 100% of the time on Board), so comming home and dealing with children was quite a leap for him.

    On this occasion he was being particularly critical about my sister and eye to the point where we in our bedrooms and both crying about what our father was saying about us to our mother. Thar we were rubbish we were going to be poor as adults.

    That was when my sister came running in to my room to cuddle me, as much for her benefit as mine. Really that argument is what made my sister and I distrust our father and that has never been fully repaired. Even though we are 45 & 50 respectively and father 81.

    I have always said, even in later life, the relationship between my father and I has been a business one, not out of love.

    My sister and I are relatively close now, emotionally, due in part because we are 200 miles away from eachother, which I know in USA is peanuts, but in UK terms opposite ends of the Earth! Even so, we do not phone eachother every five miunuets, indeed once a week, but know we are there at the end of a phone if need be. This was true when my sister’s marriage nearly broke down, and I was acting as Marriage Guidance Counsellor at the same time Politician to keep my father out of it. If he had got involved (the brother in law was having an affair); the marriage would have been smashed irrevocably.

    I am pleased to say that they are still married and celebrated 25 years marriage a while ago.

    So age difference does play a part, and you will always get the “I can do it better than you”; purely becuase the eldest has already been through what the younger is just discovering. Particulalry friendships and realtionships, e.g. when sister had first boy-friend I was very protective of my sister.

    Sorry for the essay but it is quite an interesting point which you raise and worthy of analysis.

  2. Debbie Says:

    This was quite possibly the funniest video I’ve ever seen – probably because it was so incredibly true. Thanks for sharing! If there is one thing my boys do well, it’s fight. I realize not all boys do it to the same degree, but I could see my sons doing this same thing in 10 years. I will be sharing this video!


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