Worries and “What-ifs”

February 6, 2011

Until I became a mother I never really understood why my mom worried so much. She was always worrying about my brother, my sister and I and she always would say things like “Watch out for cars!” or “Be careful riding your bike!” as we were on our way out the door to play.  Now that I have kids of my own I hear myself saying these same warnings to my own kids as they are on their way out the door.  I also find myself worrying when the kids are sick or hurt or even when I hear a siren outside my window.  It makes me think of the Shel Silverstein poem about the “What-ifs” that crawl inside your head.  I have all these worries and “what-ifs” that play games in my head and often make me start to lose faith in myself and even in God. 

I sometimes lie in bed at night worrying about money, about my children’s future, about my job and even about the cluttered and messy house that I can never seem to find the time to clean.  I worry that I am not a good enough mother or wife and I worry that I am not doing enough at home, at work or at the church. I worry about our oldest son, Drew, who will be driving in 3 years (yikes!) and who will be dating in the near future which means the promise of young love, but also the pain of heartbreak and broken relationships.  This is the time of day when all the “what-ifs” crawl inside my head. “What if my kids don’t do well in school?”, “What if Caleb (our son with Autism) never talks?”,“What if something happens to my husband or I?”, “What if we can’t afford college for four kids?”, “What if ….”  Well, you get the idea.  It’s at times like this that I have to stop the worries and “what-ifs” from consuming me and remind myself that God has everything under control.  When we have Faith in God’s plan it helps eliminate the worries and fears that we may have. 

During times when I am struggling to not let the fear overcome my Faith God uses other women to speak into my life. Women are wired uniquely and gifted to specifically speak into the lives of other women. That is one of the things I love so much about the Women of Faith Conference that we take a group of women to each year. It is so meaningful and relevant because it is other women talking about their struggles and the problems they have faced and it makes you realize that you are not alone. There are other women out there that feel overwhelmed by the demands of motherhood … there are other women out there that get that dreaded call from the school that their child is in the Principals office … there are other women out there that worry that they are failing at trying to balance housework, kids, a job and the ever-present battle to try and maintain their sanity in the process.  God uses our relationships with other women to speak to us and encourage us.  Nothing quite lifts your spirits like a phone call with a friend or a “Girls Night Out”. Our friends can help us by sharing their similar experiences and letting us know that they have the same worries about their children, the future, and whether or not they are a “good mother”. 

So if you are like me and often have visits from the “what-ifs” or have worries that consume you remember that you are not alone.  Call a good friend, your mother or your sister and talk to them about what you are going through. Have them pray with you and ask them to continue to pray for you as you are going through a rough patch or difficult time in your life.  As you begin to let go of the worries and “what-ifs” you can replace them with the “what-abouts”.  “What-about the way God has always taken care of my family and I?”, “What-about the times in the past that God has worked things out even when the future seemed hopeless?”, “What-about the great friends and family I have that are praying for me and are there for me?”, “What-about the wonderful and awesome God we have that loves us unconditionally?”  When you start to count your blessings instead of your worries the day will seem much brighter and those “what-ifs” won’t stand a chance!

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” ~ Jeremiah 29:11

(This is part of a Blog Hop for Women of Faith – to see other blogs click here : http://www.womenoffaith.com/blog/2011/02/your-favorite-bad-feeling/ )


4 Responses to “Worries and “What-ifs””

  1. mindy Says:

    The “what If’s” must be in the air strong right now. Been battling them hard this week myself! Great post and so full of truth!


    • I’ve been battling them too. It’s hard sometimes to keep them at bay, isn’t it? I love reading your blog and hearing about your kids and the recent pictures you posted are so cute! I will continue to pray for you guys and hopefully we will both have a better week this week 🙂

  2. Ellen Hinds Says:

    This is a wonderful gift you have given to me and to everyone who is blessed to see your site. May God Bless you and your family always. Thank you for taking the time to write this beautiful article. Ellen

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